A New Chapter
After IUI #2 failed, I was devastated. I was just so sad. I didn't want to go on social media, I didn't want to go out in public, and I didn't really want to talk to anybody. I felt like every time I went out, someone would inquire about when we were going to have kids. Those questions broke my heart a little more each time.
One night my husband and I were sitting on the couch. With tears rolling down my face, I told him I was done. I was done trying to have kids. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I couldn't handle any more bad news. I couldn't handle any more medications, blood draws, or doctors visits. I was just done. I apologized over and over again that I couldn't have kids. I told him I didn't want to go through with another IUI and that I took the two failed IUI's as a sign that kids just weren't in His plan for us. He calmly said "It's okay. Don't give up. Giving up isn't an option."
When heading into IUI #2, we had talked about putting our house up for sale and moving to a newer house in a different part of town. We had both casually been looking for houses online, but nothing really stood out for us - well, nothing that we both agreed on. One Sunday we were bored and decided to drive around to the different neighborhoods in town just to check them out. We came upon an Open House in a brand new development. There were two houses available for showings - one was completed/sold and the other one was still in the process of being built. We walked through the first house, a split level, and weren't totally sold on it. Just for kicks, we walked to the next house to check it out and totally LOVED IT!
I called our realtor the next day and told her we'd like to put an offer in on it. Mind you, our house wasn't even listed for sale yet. Heck, it wasn't even close to being ready to list... we had quite a few little projects we wanted to finish first (i.e. paint, flooring, updating fixtures, etc). Of course, she told me we had to list our house before we could even put in an offer on the new one. The next few weeks were insane. We literally had just under 2 weeks to do all of our projects and list our house. We pulled all nighters, worked from the time we walked in the door from our full-time jobs until bed time, and our realtor even came over a couple times to help out (she's a fellow firefighter wife). Seriously. Insane.
Lack of sleep and total chaos sent my anxiety into overdrive. I started having panic attacks. I had never sold a house or purchased one before, the thought of having a purchase that big freaked me out. When I become too stressed (aka I skip workouts or time for myself), my anxiety goes crazy. I was at a point where I was feeling anxious all the time, I was crabby, and I just couldn't sleep. Uffda. This moving business is no joke. Kudos to those of you who have moved more than once. Who knew two people could accumulate so much crap that would need to be packed up too..??
Due to moving, we started living off of fast food. I know, I know... this totally goes against everything I preach. I always try to aim for home cooked, healthier meal options. However, when your kitchen is packed up and the only thing you have available is paper plates and plastic forks... you do what you can.
PCOS and fast food do not go well together. I was constantly nauseous, dizzy, and just felt BLAH. My hormones were way out of whack and to top it off, workouts weren't at the top of my priority list. I just wanted to get this move over with as soon as possible so I could get back into my routine. I should add that when we opted for fast food, I did try to pick healthier options when they were available. Regardless, my body was not a fan of this new way of living + all of the stress.
This was NOT a smooth process whatsoever. It felt like we ran into a road block at every turn. We had what seemed like a ton of house showings, but realtors were late or people would give us ridiculous offers. Finally, we received an offer that we accepted. We had a closing date of June 2019 locked in. Less than 48 hours before closing, the builders of our new house decided that they were going to change the closing date. WHAT! The plan was to close on our current house in the morning and then close on our new house in the afternoon. That plan quickly turned into us being homeless, with two dogs and car loads of stuff, for a day. Thankfully we were able to crash at my parents house. There's a lot more to the story, but I'll spare you the details.
We eventually closed and moved in to our brand new house! I was excited for this new chapter! Plus, this new chapter meant my mind would be kept busy for awhile...
One night my husband and I were sitting on the couch. With tears rolling down my face, I told him I was done. I was done trying to have kids. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I couldn't handle any more bad news. I couldn't handle any more medications, blood draws, or doctors visits. I was just done. I apologized over and over again that I couldn't have kids. I told him I didn't want to go through with another IUI and that I took the two failed IUI's as a sign that kids just weren't in His plan for us. He calmly said "It's okay. Don't give up. Giving up isn't an option."
When heading into IUI #2, we had talked about putting our house up for sale and moving to a newer house in a different part of town. We had both casually been looking for houses online, but nothing really stood out for us - well, nothing that we both agreed on. One Sunday we were bored and decided to drive around to the different neighborhoods in town just to check them out. We came upon an Open House in a brand new development. There were two houses available for showings - one was completed/sold and the other one was still in the process of being built. We walked through the first house, a split level, and weren't totally sold on it. Just for kicks, we walked to the next house to check it out and totally LOVED IT!
I called our realtor the next day and told her we'd like to put an offer in on it. Mind you, our house wasn't even listed for sale yet. Heck, it wasn't even close to being ready to list... we had quite a few little projects we wanted to finish first (i.e. paint, flooring, updating fixtures, etc). Of course, she told me we had to list our house before we could even put in an offer on the new one. The next few weeks were insane. We literally had just under 2 weeks to do all of our projects and list our house. We pulled all nighters, worked from the time we walked in the door from our full-time jobs until bed time, and our realtor even came over a couple times to help out (she's a fellow firefighter wife). Seriously. Insane.
Lack of sleep and total chaos sent my anxiety into overdrive. I started having panic attacks. I had never sold a house or purchased one before, the thought of having a purchase that big freaked me out. When I become too stressed (aka I skip workouts or time for myself), my anxiety goes crazy. I was at a point where I was feeling anxious all the time, I was crabby, and I just couldn't sleep. Uffda. This moving business is no joke. Kudos to those of you who have moved more than once. Who knew two people could accumulate so much crap that would need to be packed up too..??
Due to moving, we started living off of fast food. I know, I know... this totally goes against everything I preach. I always try to aim for home cooked, healthier meal options. However, when your kitchen is packed up and the only thing you have available is paper plates and plastic forks... you do what you can.
PCOS and fast food do not go well together. I was constantly nauseous, dizzy, and just felt BLAH. My hormones were way out of whack and to top it off, workouts weren't at the top of my priority list. I just wanted to get this move over with as soon as possible so I could get back into my routine. I should add that when we opted for fast food, I did try to pick healthier options when they were available. Regardless, my body was not a fan of this new way of living + all of the stress.
This was NOT a smooth process whatsoever. It felt like we ran into a road block at every turn. We had what seemed like a ton of house showings, but realtors were late or people would give us ridiculous offers. Finally, we received an offer that we accepted. We had a closing date of June 2019 locked in. Less than 48 hours before closing, the builders of our new house decided that they were going to change the closing date. WHAT! The plan was to close on our current house in the morning and then close on our new house in the afternoon. That plan quickly turned into us being homeless, with two dogs and car loads of stuff, for a day. Thankfully we were able to crash at my parents house. There's a lot more to the story, but I'll spare you the details.
We eventually closed and moved in to our brand new house! I was excited for this new chapter! Plus, this new chapter meant my mind would be kept busy for awhile...
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| We're homeowners!! |
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